Dear God ( as Creator of all..)
Sometimes I get so mad with the fact that You gave us that "free will".. Which..apparently is most dangerous to self, that is just in my opinion. For a long time I did not understood the point of it.. The purpose behind it. Behind everything, to be honest. It's hard to see how a loving father, would let his children play with the most dangerous thing they can play with. I know that LOVE is the most powerful and most precious to You.. And that just didn't make any sense at all.. I mean.. When you love someone you protect right? You would do anything just for them to be safe, to be there next to you. But... After a while of thinking .. I got a very small picture of what that can be.. And again is just how I see it. :) true love means "sacrifice" and that I know based of how your son, Jesus, lived his life.. And first of all.. What you did for me.. Sacrifice ..
when you love, you sacrifice, you put the other one before you. Not giving me " free will" would make you a selfish God by keeping me away from truth, away for experiences, way from fear and danger.. Away from freedom.. Yes ..that's right, my "free will" is my "freedom". You gave me freedom with the risk of losing me for good, with the risk or me turning agains You, saying how awful and bad You are. You risked everything for me, just so I can be free.. Just so I can experience good and bad things.. After all, how could I ever understand goodness if I don't experience bad. If You would not have given me the power to make my own choices, that would just make me your puppet. And, to be honest ..sometimes I wish I was :) but I am so grateful I'm not.
Thank you so much for giving me free will.. To make my own choices.. Bad and good.. Wise and silly.. The bright side in all of this is.. Somehow you always turn my bad decision in good things for me. You are amazing!. You are always there! When I get so disappointed with myself.. I'm ashamed and I think You are so mad with me.. And we are over..but then..again You remind by looking at a "father and child" situation.. When a child do wrong to his father or his mother.. The love of those parents never changes.. Even if they get upset or hurt. Nothing can change the love they have.. And if a human being can love like that..I cannot imagine Your love.. Who created love in the first place. Your love is way deeper than any human being can ever experience in a life time. From all of this. " free will" thing.. I have discovered valuable meanings.. But one think that touches me lately .. And that is.. When you love.. You have to let go with the risk of never having it back. That way, when it comes back.. both sides can enjoy it to the fullest.
